Progressing Slowly

Now I come to realise why I have been so tired lately.

My blood test came out today which reveals that my iron level is very low – not slightly low, but the ‘as low as it can get’ type. This is not something new as my iron level has always been low, like most women. I had hoped that it may have improved since the monthly iron drainage event has stopped. Obviously I have been too optimistic! Of course I have to take iron supplements from now on.

Another vexing matter is that I have put on a whopping 5 pounds already which is somewhat embarrassing as many pregnant women don’t even show at this stage. Working clothes become a real problem because while the maternity wear is still too big for me, the usual clothes are obviously either too tight or too uncomfortable. I’ve spent three weekends shopping for clothes so far with little luck. I just have to keep hunting diligently. Unlike other shopping experiences which were usually uplifting and pleasant, I found these recent shopping trips rather stressful. I suppose I am still a little upset to lose my flat tummy and watch helplessly my waistline grow. I realise that, to understand that it’s a natural process is the easy part; to go through it is not. Theory is always easier to comprehend than reality, isn’t it?

I am often amazed that some women seem to cope really well with pregnancy and babies and are able to endure it all while I know that I am always going to be the person who is not naturally maternal and part of me is never ever going to be prepared for these sacrifices. I was having a chat to my hairdresser the other day during a haircut and said to her that I could not understand why I had this ‘ripped off’ feelings even though I thought I was ready for a family. This hairdresser didn't know me well yet her response was very interesting. She said that since I had been enjoying a care-free coupled life for so long (10 years, that is) and had all the freedom in the world naturally it takes some time to come to terms with losing many of the benefits I'd been taking for granted. I think she is absolutely right!

I think I’ve nagged enough. I feel much better now lol! Sorry to bore you to death hopefully next time I’ll talk about something more exciting other than my 'pre-natal blues'! Time for bed now!

Hibernation Is Over!

Things started to feel real after my week 13 scan yesterday when the baby's heartbeat, body length, head, feet, hands, stomach were clearly seen. It's about time for me to put things into perspective and regain some form of normality. I am saying this because so far I have been so overwhelmed by the enormous amount of discomfort I've been going through which could easily made me lose sight of what the whole process is all about but to dwell on my endless tiredness, sickness and uncontrollable cravings let alone the mood swings. It's only been three months but what a journey!

It is a shame but I must admit that a couple of times when I was so sick of being sick I actually wished that I was not pregnant. All I knew was that hours felt like days and days felt like weeks and my 'illness' felt like lasting forever. There was nothing else in my life- all my energy, focus and thoughts went to how terrible I felt and thinking what super hot n spicy food I can find or cook for my next meal!

Thankfully things do get much better slowly - On Sunday I went to my meditation group for the first time in 3 months what a fantastic feeling to be amongst a group of positive souls again and eat Vegetarian meals with them and drink Chai tea! I also started morning and evening walks a few days ago to get in touch with that 'high' feeling again endorphin gives me. Oh it is nice to be normal and feel normal!!

My baby is fine. What else can I ask from life? It's time to get on with it! Hopefully I'll return to this blog more often from now on. I've missed you all!