Time To Get Away

There is no point to work hard and forget to reward yourself. In the past three months we’ve packed in so much in work, studying, courses and getting to know this city. It’s about time to get away! The decision was made yesterday and accommodation was booked immediately. Yay we are going to Coromandel for a weekend!

Dream

I had a dream last night about a work file. Something was not right about it.

As I’ve learnt my lessons to pay attention to dreams, I went straight to the filing room first thing in the morning when I arrived at work, and dug out this file. Guess what have I found?

A letter was sitting on top of the file signed off by one of my colleagues dated six weeks ago in letterhead. Apart from the letterhead copy, there was also a file copy on plain paper. I checked with my colleague. He was surprised that the letter has been left on file instead of going out.

“How did you pick this up?” He asked.

“Women’s intuition.” I grinned at him.

True Love

No one would dispute the fact that the love we receive from our parents is greater than the love we give to our parents.

I believe we all know why: Parental love is the greatest because it is unconditional love. Our parents love us regardless, even when we have made mistakes and done stupid things. They watch us doing things to hurt ourselves yet they never stop loving us. Their love is like an ocean and contains all. Their love is the greatest because they let us be who we want to be and let us do what we want to do.

How much do I love my parents in return? I don’t want to compare. I can’t compare. How can I compare? My love to my parents has always been conditional despite I have always remained close to them and loved them. I love them more when I am in good mood and when I admire them. I love them less when I am in bad mood and when I find flaws in them.

In January I had a ‘falling out’ period with my parents. It happened when I rang home and found myself caught in the middle of a domestic row. When mum tearfully accused dad of some wrong doings on the telephone, I could not stand any more. I told her that I was not interested in their problems and hang up the phone coldly. I was very disappointed about my parents and was deeply hurt. I did not speak to them for four weeks. During this period Chinese New Year passed and they did not receive my greetings.

I eventually forgave them. Perhaps I should say, I eventually forgave myself, as I realised that my love to them was conditional. That’s just not fair! My parents have never done anything to punish me even when I hurt them by messing up my life and doing stupid things. There have been countless times when I was not being perfect yet they still loved me. It was a shame for me to impose a condition on them in order for me to love them. Why can’t I just love, like the way my parents have always loved me, with no conditions and attachments?

We often say: If you love someone, set him free. I thought to myself: if I truly love my parents, I should accept the way they are. They have the freedom to be who they are. They don’t have to meet their children’s standards. It is not up to me to set standards for my parents. Over the years I have always appreciated the greatest asset my parents have given me - freedom to be who I want to be, then why is it so difficult for me to let them be?

I realised that, to truly love someone, we must let go of our desire to control and expectation for perfection. We must learn to accept others, as accepting others means accepting ourselves. If we impose standards on others in order to love, similarly, we should expect others to impose standards on us to give us love - is that the way you want? Is that the way you want the world to be?

Don’t hesitate for a second, just love! Love is the ultimate way to liberate ourselves and love is the ultimate way to free this world from suffering. Love, and you’ll be blessed!

Don't Be Afraid To Dream

Last week we bid an farewell to a colleague, who has been with this organisation for eighteen years. While it was sad to see him go, he has left much for us to think about.

He did not leave for a competitor or a better paying job. He left to pursue his dream of running his own business. In a private conversation, he told me that his goal is to become a millionaire before 40-years old. As I manage his Trust, I knew his age and financial situation. I knew it takes an ambitious and determined person to have that goal. What makes him a very rare breed was the farewell speech he delivered.

We all knew that he is a very capable person who has a wealth of knowledge and experience in charitable business which would no doubt make him a very successful entrepreneur. However, we did not expect to hear him reveal that his business goal is to raise 50 billion dollar funds for charities, in 30 years time.

Is he ambitious? Absolutely. Is he a big dreamer? Definitely. Is he unrealistic? Maybe, or maybe not. The point is: he dared to dream, and dared to dream big.

Is there such a thing that a dream is too big? I don’t think so. For thousands of years humans had dreamed of going to the moon; and one day we did it! A lot of good things we enjoy today (such as Internet, airplanes) would not have existed if people did not dare to dream of it becoming true. Similarly, if a 50 billion dollar charity has not already existed, to make it happen, someone has to do it. And my colleague has had this dream and is willing to take on the challenge of making it become true. What an inspiration he is!

Don’t be afraid to dream. Unless you can dream it, you won’t become it. In other words, if you can dream it, you can become it!

Finding Resources

Have you ever worked in a work environment where it is under-resourced?

If you have, which is highly possible in this day and age, you would easily name a few symptoms which are common in an under-resourced environment such as stress, low morale, lack of enthusiasm, unhappy staff and high turnover.

Suppose we run our lives like running a business, what happens if we are under-resourced? What would the symptoms be?

I think the symptoms would be very similar. If we are under-resourced in life, we would feel lack of energy. We would have mediocre relationships and lousy careers. Our health probably wouldn’t be that great. Our energy and motivation would run out long before we finish a project or a goal. We drift along in life and find no sense of direction. We feel stressed all the time and we are unhappy.

At work you know it’s hard to remain enthusiastic about a new idea you generate when you know that no one has time to gauge its merit; it’s hard to be energised when most of the time during work you are putting out fire and doing what’s urgent rather than what’s important; it’s hard to flourish and exercise your talent when you are anchored in an under-resourced environment.

It’s the same with life. Unless we are equipped with adequate resources, we will find it hard all the time. It’s hard to be excited when the resource is lacking.

We must run our lives as if we run a business on the same basis. We must be proactive to attract and maintain all the resources to help us grow. You can start by looking at how you spend your time and what kind of people you associate yourself with to get an idea on what kind of resources you have. How much time do you spend on watching television and internet chat? Do you hang out with friends who always drag you down, or do you hang out with friends who always lift you up? Is the local pub your frequent place to visit? Do you usually find consolation through alcohol and junk food? Ask yourself: what are your resources?

I trust you are bright enough. You know there are many external resources which can help you to get rid of all the symptoms I listed above. But do you know that the most effective and efficient resource is actually yourself? I am talking about your inner resource - the Mystical Master that lies within you all the time; the force that directs you to think and act.

The inner resource is the most abundant resource you can possibly have. But to access It, you must trust It. You must be willing to spent time with It. You must put develop a relationship with It. Don’t let this potent resource go unnoticed and unutilised. It’s too good to miss!

Bonding In A Marriage

I remember a conversation I had with one of my colleagues years ago. I asked her if she had any children. She said she had one boy. She told me that it was important to have children, especially when one’s husband was away all the time on business so one could occupy oneself by raising children. She also said something interesting which made me laugh. She said that it only took a year or two for a couple to have said all the things they had to say and done all the things they wanted to do as such it was time to have children to create a bonding after a couple of years.

Maybe she was half joking. Maybe what she said was somewhat true. As far as I know, children to many couples are the only bonding. Many couples have nothing else to say to each other if the subjects are not about their children. Children, certainly appear to be a solid bonding in a marriage. But does this bonding really strengthen and nourish a marriage? In other words, are couples who have children enjoy better relationships than childless couples? The answer is no, according to a source I read last year. The source concluded from researches and surveys that, childless couples experience lower divorcing rate than couples who have children. Children, do not make the bonding of a marriage stronger.

I look at my own parents’ marriage and come to the saddening fact that it is true. When we kids were young, my parents were happier than they are now. They had a lot of common things to do together. They talked to each other more. After we have grown up and all left home, it took no time for their marriage to plummet and at one stage they even went to the local marriage registration office to file for a divorce which fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) did not proceed. While children kept them together for some years, they were never really bonded to each other. This was evidenced by their inability to live a coupled life when there was no third parties.

Bonding through external things such as children is weak and fragile because external things either change, die or come to an end. Happy couples are the ones who share common visions in life and who are committed to each other’s soul development. Bonded in this way, a couple would never run out of things to say or projects to do. Raising children becomes part of their bonding but not the only bonding. When children grow up, they move on to other projects and continue to nurture each other.

A marriage that is bonded through shared values and visions is passionate, creative and stimulating. It provides stability, love, security, laughter, joy and a safe haven. It provides the platform for personal growth and spiritual awakening.

Children, or no children, doesn’t really matter. Always feed each other’s soul because there is always room there for nourishment. The whole universe is bonded through soul connection, what makes you think that marriage should be different?

How To Receive News?

I seldom watch TV these days as most of the time watching news is a disturbing experience, especially news on weekends which normally include car accidents, domestic violence and some sort of tragedies.

Since most of the news we receive these days are negative, it’s very easy to develop depression, pessimism or anger if we don’t apply a method in receiving news. As we watched the news recently about the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina, some of us were caught up in the horror and anguish part of the disaster and quickly pointed fingers to politicians to blame.

We listen. We watch. We judge. We act. This is the process for some people. In this process, by the time we reached the stage of ‘act’, it is usually criticism and accusations. As a result, we feel angry and helpless.

Does the above process have to be the only process? I don’t believe so. To me, one important aspect is missing. A better process would be: We listen. We watch. We feel. We act.

It is when we feel that we redirect our emotion and energy to connect to the pain of victims. This connection enables us to emerge as more compassionate beings without getting dragged down into hopelessness and anguish.

The world has been and will continue to suffer natural calamities. No religion or politicians can avoid or eliminate them. Yes if only politicians did this and that the damage could have been less dramatic; the point is, however, we cannot place the entire blame on politicians or those who are directly responsible for various situation; we too must bear some responsibility personally. A positive act we can do in this kind of situation is to think positively about what we can personally do to alleviate the pain. Shouting and complaining is not good enough. If we replace the process of judge with feel when we listen and watch the bad news, we will become mindful of our emotions. We will pass the initial wave of horror and anger and develop a calm mind. Without a calm mind, a doctor can’t perform a surgery. It’s the same with us. A calm mind is the start to positive attitudes and actions. How positive can one be in the face of disasters such as Hurricane Katrina?

While action is a personal thing, there are many things you can do. You can pray or meditate to send love thoughts to the victims. You can raise relieving funds or donate money. You can write a letter to the President, the Mayor or the victims to express your concern, sympathy, support or praise. You may wish to adopt an orphan who lost his parents from this disaster. You may use the news as a reminder to yourself that life is so fragile and short that you must love you family, friends and community in every possible way… When you think about all these positive actions you can engage yourself in, all of which will make a difference to this world, you will not just sit there and point fingers or blame as they are futile actions.

Compassion is different from weakness. It is using our kindness to raise positive thoughts and feelings which give rise to hope, courage, determination and inner strength. It is a pathway to peace and an indispensable requirement for humanity.

Reward In Writing

I seldom write on this blog about my personal life. If I do, it‘s usually very brief. I have randomly visited other blogs, most of which seem to be personal diaries. Apart from the need to express oneself, I guess writing something about oneself is always an easy start, especially if you are not already a writer!

Up until a few years ago I had kept diaries still. I kept diaries for a little over ten years. Looking at my diaries, most of them were about my love, emotional upheavals or life confusions. Since these days my life has been pretty steady and the days when I experienced emotional upheavals or confusions are almost non-existent, it appears there is no more need for keeping diaries.

I have always refused (or refrained) to write on-line journals or any dramas about life. I believe that life is for living in the now. If you have already lived those moments, why living them again by writing a journal about something already happened, especially dramas? Wouldn't the time you write about dramas or disturbing subjects be better spent if you go out for a walk or listen to some Jazz or soothing music? On the very rare occasions when I did write in a journal fashion, they related to my holidays which to me are moments worth ‘reliving‘. I guess my boss, colleagues and hubby are all correct in saying that I am a very efficient and practical person and deal with no non-sense. While this may be a compliment, I guess the downside is that I’ll probably never become a story teller or a novelist because I have no time for dramas!

These days I think a lot about the meaning of life, humanity and other worldly issues. When you think about these issues, you place yourself outside of your small world and you become a sober observer of life rather than being caught in the drama. You deal with your sorrow, anger, frustrations and dissatisfactions in life differently. You become more patient and resourceful. You become more giving and less self-obsessed. You handle life positively no matter what happens. My writing as a result reflects the transformation I am going through.

While there may be other bloggers who write for readership or popularity reasons, I write for myself. It’s an exciting journey and self-rewarding as I keep gaining power and energy in exploring my soul. I know that popularity doesn't feed the soul, but self-realisation does.

Commitment

Do you want to have a happy relationship? Do you want a successful career? Do you want to live a fulfilled life with no regret?

If your answer is yes, I have the next question for you: Can you commit yourself to your relationship, career and all the goals you want to achieve?

Last year my former boss retired, seven years before he would receive the government superannuation. On his farewell speech, he said: “I’ve always promised myself to retire early. Now the time has come.” Of course, you don’t just retire early; you must prepare yourself financially long before this day arrives. Once a promise had been made, my boss was committed to it. He made his promise come true.

My husband had wanted to change his career before he reaches forty. This year, at the age of thirty nine, he finally delivered his promise. Again it didn’t just happen. To be able to change his career, he devoted five years in creating a new career path for himself.

I admire such people like my former boss and my husband for their commitment and dedication to life. Once they have a goal, they stick to it and nothing can distract them from their commitment.

Commitment may sound like a big word. To some people, it is frightening. Why? Because they relate commitment to lack of freedom, choices and enjoyment in life.

This is far from the truth. As a matter of fact, if you want to have a successful relationship, career, or other pursuits in life, commitment is the only way to achieve them. In commitment lies true liberation as you turn your visions into reality thus enjoy the fruits of it.

Commitment is not a big word. Commitment is nothing more than a daily action. Without the ability to commit to small things, it is impossible to be able to commit to big things. I started an evening class six weeks ago. Over the six weeks the number of attendees kept dropping until last night there were only three attendees. This class is not an easy one where you go and listen to lectures. This class requires everyone to prepare a speech every week at their spare time and then to delivery it during the next class. It’s hard. But it’s how we learn and improve. From the class, I can see the fact that when the going gets tough, the majority of people just can’t remain committed. They lose heart too easily. They drop out from University or school; they divorce too quickly when their fantasies can’t be met; they hop from one job to another yet always remain unsatisfied… you wonder why.

While success sounds good, smells nice and feels wonderful, it has a price to pay. This price, is the level of our commitment. Our commitment is the money required up front before we get our goods delivered. Needless to say, the higher the level of success we pursue, the greater the price.

Take a look at your life aspects: health, family, finance, career… and ask yourself: how much commitment are you willing to give to yourself to get you to the next level?

Priorities In Life

The fire alarm went off at work yesterday. In about a minute or two the building was evacuated. While we were assembled at a street corner, everyone seemed cheery. Not a single person was talking about work or appeared stressed from work. I had never seen so many happy and relaxed faces at work.

That’s the thing. When our life is endangered, what was important a minute ago is not important now. No one cares about files, customers or deadlines. It takes a small incident like this to remind people that, in the grand scheme of things what we do in our daily lives doesn’t really matter that much.

We all have priorities in life, be it to complete a course, to get married, to have a baby, to get a promotion, to buy a house, to lose 20 kilos, to have a holiday. I am sure that if our house is burning down or a big earthquake is striking, none of these priorities would matter to us.

While it is necessary for us to have goals and priorities in life, it is important to keep in mind that apart from the temporary priorities we set for ourselves, there are permanent priorities as well. I have at least two permanent priorities if you are interested to know.

My first permanent priority is my physical health. Without physical health, I know that I can’t enjoy all the good things in life, neither can I look after the people I love. If you have visited a hospital or a rest home, you will see plenty of people who are full of kind hearts but live a dependant life.

My second permanent priority is my connection to the world at a soul level. Without this connection, say if disaster strikes and I go to another world, I wouldn’t have many friends. In the soul world our only connection with others is through soul. It certainly helps if we have already familiarised ourselves with other souls during this earthly life. I am not saying that we must become a medium, a physic or a guru to be able to see the dead or the God. I am talking about making soul connections to all the living things, as all the living things have a soul. The sun, the moon, a plant, a drop from the ocean, an animal, and certainly a fellow human being…. they all have a soul.

If we know what’s temporarily good for us and what’s permanently good for us both, we’ll use our time wisely. For example, if it’s temporarily good for us and permanently good for us, we’ll go for it (like exercises, meditation); if it’s temporarily bad for us and permanently bad for us (like throw a tantrum), we won’t bother if we have common sense; if it’s temporarily good but permanently bad (like drugs and alcohol), with self-discipline and strong will, we won’t do it; if it’s temporarily bad but permanently good (like remove an infected limb), we’ll certainly do it.

You see, if we have sorted our priorities list, life can be very simple to live! If we develop the habit of thinking in terms of temporary and permanent priority, there won’t be much to regret later on in our lives.

Clean Yourself Before You Clean Anyone Else

I used to have a friend when I lived in Wellington. I took a liking to him at first because he is a witty and humorous bloke. But I changed my mind soon after I got to know him a bit more. Being with him was no longer pleasant as he could find mistakes and wrongs in anything and everything, including the food in restaurants, his girlfriend, his parents, his business partner and his best friends. To him everything was not up to his standard and everything seemed to be rubbish.

I visited his home on a number of occasions. His house was like a pigsty. While this may be normal for a bachelor since he lived on his own most of the time and I have no intention to pick on him, I remembered, however, that he told me how lack of atmosphere and warmth his best friends’ place was (the thing is, his best friends happens to be my friends as well and their place to me is quite ‘homely’ and tidy).

Here is the point: there are many people who think they can clean others while in actual fact they are not that clean themselves.

These people, because they have a filthy mind instead of a clean mind, all they see in this world is filth. Because they have so much garbage built in their psyche, they cannot see the purity and beauty of their external world. As we often say: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It seems the opposite is just as truthful. These people don’t make things better by cleaning themselves; instead, they carry their germs like a signature and share their germs with their neighbours, friends, families or whoever is around them. More people get ill because of them. The symptoms include fatigue, boredom, distress and headaches.

While my friend may be an example to the extreme, I have noticed that many people like to share their germs with others just the same. For example, we gossip. We tell others that this person is weird and that person is bad. We tell others that this person cannot be trusted and that person is dodgy. We spread our ill thoughts about people around, although most of the ill thoughts are imagined, exaggerated or biased. By spreading our ill thoughts to others, a ghost is turned into reality.

Don’t think or talk dirty about others, as you yourself are not that clean. If people come to you and dump their dirt to you, don’t take it. You don’t need to tell them off either and make an enemy. Sometimes when you tell these people off you give them a forum to defend themselves fiercely and to attack you. A lot of people like this game as they get satisfaction from the attention you give them. However, if you do want to help them, help them with mercy and forgiveness. Help them with love. Give them your blessings in words or in your hearts.

Keep clean! At both physical and mental level. If we are clean, we are less likely to spread illness and diseases around. As a result, people around us become healthier and happier.

Be Yourself

We often use the phrase “be yourself” to encourage ourselves and others. Why by being ourselves we can get through all the big or small difficulties and obstacles in life while it doesn’t seem to require a lot of effort? Why being ourselves is so powerful?

I don’t think the ‘self’ here just refers to our current state of selves, as our current selves may have a lot of flaws in them, such as: self-loathe, arrogance, discrimination, ignorance, low esteem, selfishness, greed and egoism. These flaws certainly don’t give us power. Instead, I think the ‘self’ here refers to our original self – our innocent child self. Imagine a new born baby opens his eyes for the very first time. What does he see in the world? Does he see dirt and ugliness? Doe he have discrimination, resentment and anger? Does he think he is not beautiful? Does he feel happy or sad? No. He doesn’t have all of these, because the original form of a baby is purity. It is a God given birthright. Purity is a treasure. That’s why 24 karat gold is valuable and that’s why pure water is good for our health. Most of us have almost forgotten that we have this treasure in our original form. If we revert to our original self and make that connection to our God given purity, we will find great power and strength.

Why Do You Want To Become Rich?

About thirteen years ago, I visited a friend of mine in his flat. He was about 25 years old and worked in the hospitality industry as a PR Manager. When I walked into his bedroom, I noticed a big picture which took almost one side of the entire wall of his bedroom. In the picture there was a red Ferrari, very posh, very showy, very... thought provoking.

I asked him why he chose this picture. He told me that this picture would remind him everyday about his dreams and goals in life. There I saw a very ambitious young man, who understood the power of visualisation.

I have long lost touch with him. These days I sometimes wonder if he has become rich and has owned that Ferrari which used to inspire him; I also wonder what his inspiration would be these days.

While thirteen years ago such an enthusiastic young man was an inspiration for me, it’s clearly not the case any more. I have learnt that, life is not about becoming rich and acquiring luxury materials. Becoming rich is not the end; it is just the beginning of bigger things.

Last Saturday someone in my neighbourhood won a 15 million lottery. People have been talking about it. Of all the versions, over and over again I could hear only one message, which is: what they are going to buy and how they are going to spend on THEMSELVES. It reminds me of a survey that’s been done on the effect of lottery winning to people’s lives. According to the survey, over half of these winners’ lives are ruined by money one way or the other. They either die early, become drug addicts, unable to sustain relationships, suffer from ill physical health or mental disorders etc.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those people who condemn that money is evil. What’s evil, is our deviation from life’s purpose once we have acquired it. We stop working hard and appreciating the ordinary things in life. We stop dreaming the dreams which used to inspire us. We lose in touch with self-discipline and are unsure how to utilise the newly acquired financial freedom. You can easily see that this happens when we treat money as if it’s the end, but not the means to our goals. There is still one important question to answer: what is the purpose of all?

It’s important to define what the purpose is behind money acquiring. Is it happiness? If happiness is the purpose, one must know that the determining factor in our happiness lies not in how much money we have and how we acquire it, but in the MOTIVATION behind it. Is it for satisfying our ego and greed? Or is it for bringing out our best self and sharing our journey, wisdom and wealth with others? If our motivation is the former, we will never be fully satisfied because our ego and greed is endless; but if our motivation is the latter, we will enjoy every minute of the journey as every minute we live we are achieving that goal.

Real happiness is not about becoming rich and keeping it all to ourselves. Rather, it is about enriching the world by sharing our resources and richness with the rest of the world.

Don’t link lottery winning or becoming rich to the car you want to drive or the mansion you want to live in. Visualise the happiness you can bring to this world because of your wealth. There are many things you can do with your money apart from spending on yourself. This world would not exist without sharing.

Attachment to money is harmful to ourselves; yet using the right motivation to create more of it to enrich the world makes this life journey worthwhile.

Where Is God?

“Where is God?” This question is often asked, especially when trauma or tragedy happens to our personal lives. The underlying meaning of this question is: If God exists, He wouldn’t allow injustice to happen; as long as injustice exists, I don’t believe that God is here with us.

I think about this question a lot. I know it is hard to give an answer, especially in the face of all kinds of tragedies human have to suffer. How to convince the disbelieved that God does exist?

I don’t know. I don’t even want to attempt. I think it’s a wrong question to ask for a start. If there is a fundamental flaw in the question, how can you give an answer?

Most of us have fallen in love, at leats once in our lifetime. When we truly love someone, how do we prove our love? By sending her followers? Taking her to dinner? Making love? Sometimes these work but other times as many of us have experienced, there is no reception signal! The person we madly fall in love with doesn’t feel a thing! You can do all the good things in the world, only to find out that the other end is too blind to acknowledge! This goes to show that, there is no way to prove our love. The only proof is in our hearts.

The same can be said to our connection with God. God may love us, but if we don’t establish the connection with God, we won’t know His existence. Why? Because it is a one-way traffic!

As human race, it is a shame that we don’t remember God’s existence when we are happy. For example, when we receive kind actions from others; when we go binge drinking, when we enjoy sunny days, when we go partying; when we have abundant food to eat; when we enjoy seemingly endless supply of materials … we are too busy to think of God. We think it’s our birthright to have it all.

Yet when disaster strikes and injustice happens, we start to ask: ‘Where is God?’ We are frustrated and angry because when we need God the most, He doesn’t show up! As someone put: If God ever existed, He must be dead!

Now hopefully you start to see the picture. We need to experience sorrow to be motivated to find a connection to God. We are in the belief that our relationship with God is a one-way traffic. We believe that we are entitled to conduct good or bad deeds as we like, yet we only want to bear the fruits from good deeds. The fruits from our bad deeds such as jeolousy, selfishness, greed, anger, killing animals, attacking fellow human beings, thoughtless expansion of industrialising, making and using of weapons… we don't even want to consider!

Why don’t we thank God for all the good things happen to us? Why do we only turn to God when we are in trouble? Because as human, we are greedy and selfish. We want all the best and we are blaming experts if all the best doesn't happen. We don’t want to bear the consequences of our own actions; instead, we always look for someone to blame. When we’ve run out of things/people to blame, we blame God.

Unfortunately our little trick doesn’t work and it never will. That’s why when people in desperation ask where God is, we can’t find an easy answer.

God has give us the best thing He can - freewill. It’s up to us to use it to our own advantage. God must step outside of the realm of human’s deeds, otherwise He would be a control freak! If everytime we've made a mistake and God turns up and rescues us from trouble, how are we supposed to learn?

It’s time to wake up! It’s time to face up the consequences from what we have done (in this life and past lives; in the current world and past centuries). Human race has made a big mess out of our own freewill, and now it’s time for us to tidy up. It may take a few generations, a few centuries, or a few millenniums, but firstly, we must have the courage to admit our mess. The sooner we do that, the better. God hasn’t abandoned us. He is still allowing us to use our freewill instead of withdrawing it from us.

I can’t prove to you that God exists. But my heart feels Him everyday. That to me, is good enough proof!

Finding Inspiration

When I started writing about two years ago, my goal was to write one article a week until I have finished a hundred articles. At the time I thought this target would be a challenge as I was not sure if I would find enough inspiration to keep the writing going.

Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I have long finished my 100th article, but I’m still going. From this experience I realise that once you have a clear vision of your goal and develop a clear understanding of what it takes to get there, everything else just follows effortless. The means would come to you. I am not claiming that I am the best writer in the world, but I have kept the momentum which to me, is a success. You see, I don’t compare myself to others, I compare my past self to my present self.

Inspiration is behind all inventions, art and positive changes in life. Finding inspiration is easier than what you may think. I realise that the easiest way to find inspiration is by being positive.

We all have a tendency towards negativity and some of them are deeply rooted. If we become aware of our negativity or receive feedback from others about our negativity, we usually have loads of excuses. These excuses serve a good purpose - we don’t feel guilty about our being negative.

I don’t care what excuses you may have. I just want to tell you to stop thinking about all the negatives as soon as possible and start thinking about the positives in life. Unless you shift your perspective, you will continue to find life boring and mundane; you will continue to feel lack of energy and stimulation; and surely you will continue to stay in the same place, feeling powerless and aimless.

Many people find it difficult to find any inspiration in their daily lives. If you ask them what the highlights of the day or the week are, they say “as usual” or “nothing special”. If we don’t pay attention to the details of life and show our gratitude, of course we will not feel inspired and of course there is ‘nothing special‘! However, if you really pay attention in your life, you will be surprised as to how many special things happen to you during a week or a day! I don’t mind sharing you my ten highlights of the week below, just to give you an example:

1). One of my colleagues sent me an email and copied my boss in thanking me for my good work and dedication;

2). Another colleague of mine gave me a mooncake yesterday as a ‘random act of kindness’;

3). My husband told me last night that I am a very kind person for looking after him while he was sick;

4).I was given a cake this morning and a shawl as presents;

5). My friend took me to a the Toastmaster’s club (again) as a guest where I was inspired by some wonderful speeches;

6). A friend of mine sent me a joke on Monday to cheer me up;

7). My will maker told me that he was inspired by my thoughts during the process of reviewing my will with me;

8). I half jokingly told my husband that I might have put on weight and my weight goes straight to tummy. He said to me that ‘I’ve never seen any tummy that is flatter and smaller than yours in my entire life!’ which made me laugh;

9).A friend of mine after reading some of my writings commented in his email “I read your dream journals and the death article you wrote and your comment about karma in my article. The more I read about your thoughts, the more I appreciate them. Great going!”

10). My tutor in my speech class said to me that she liked my ‘personal touch’ in my speeches.

...

I can go on and on about the positive things that have happened in this week. You see, it’s not that hard to find them at all! It’s the same old saying: Seek and you’ll find! There is no shortage of positive people and shining moments in your life. You just need to focus on the positives and appreciate them. Sure, there are many negative things as well in this world. But those negative things don’t give you any inspiration, why dwell on them? If your glass is half full, why do you want to think it’s half empty?

Build a shield around yourself so that you can protect yourself against all negative people and your own negative thoughts. When you surround yourself with positive people and positive thoughts, your inspiration would never ever run out. Guaranteed!

Change The World By Changing Yourself

There are so many problems in this world: natural disasters, poverty, incurable diseases, people killing people…When you turn on TV, you will find that most news are negative news. You might have pondered these questions many times already: what on earth is going on and where is the world leading to? And how can we change the world?

Do we change the world by toughening laws and locking all the criminals away in jail? Do we change the world by sending troops to other nations and using weapons to help them? Do we change the world by condemning and cursing the evil and immoral? Do we change the world by becoming politicians or church leaders? Do we change the world by criticising, complaining and hating? Do we change the world by attacking our opponents and teaching them a lesson?

These are what’s happening. These are our solutions to the worldly problems. So many people want to change the world, yet so many more problems have been caused due to these actions.

We are all part of the big family. Many of us are genuinely concerned about the worldly issues. Most of us have a sense of personal responsibility and individual initiative to want to make the world a better place. However, for you and me - the vast majority of the population, what practical and constructive things we can do to help the world become a better place?

There are actually a lot you and I can do to change the world. Before I explain it, let me share the following story with you first.

Christina is my new colleague who joined the company about two months ago. Although this is her first paid job since graduation from University, I’ve learnt that she had had a wealth of working experiences already as a social worker.

Last week I happened to find out that she sponsors the education of an eight-year old girl in India under the ‘World Vision’ programme. She is only twenty three years old and has just embarked on her first paid job, yet she’s been a sponsor of that India girl for five years!

What an inspiration! From Christina, I’m sure you can see how you and me can change the world. We don’t have to be rich and powerful to influence hundreds and thousand of people to change the word. By giving hope to one person, we are changing this world! While all of us may wish to put an end to all problems; the most realistic thing to do, is to put our love thoughts into action! There is no use to think globally if we can’t act locally! Without action, everything is lip service. A train load of intellectual analysing and criticising about global issues wouldn’t make a damn difference to the world unless someone does something about it like Christina did!

We can’t change the world. But we can, change the world by changing ourselves. If we want the world stops suffering, we must know how to stop our own suffering first! If we hate violence, terrorism and wars, don’t use abusive languages to people around us and don’t start a war at home! If we want to stop poverty, create wealth for ourselves so we can take good care of ourselves rather than receiving government’s assistance or subsidy! If we resent the climbing divorce rate, feed nutrition constantly to our own marriage! If we don’t like to see people suffer from incurable disease, take good care of your own physical health so you don’t become one of them! If you want to stop one nation from coercing another, be kind and humble to your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours! If you don't want to see your country's economy collapse due to huge fiscal deficit, don't get into personal debt!

By loving our own parents, we extend our love to all parents; by loving our own children, we love all children; by showing respect to a stranger, we show respect to all strangers. We are a tiny drop in an ocean, but we are ocean; as without drops, there is no such a thing as ocean.

If we change, our world changes. By changing ourselves, we change the environment around us. Don’t complain how dark the world is; light a candle! There is always something we can do, to make a difference. God doesn’t expect us to change the world, as He already has his own plan about this world. But He probably does expect us to take good care of ourselves, solve our own problems before we have the ambition to solve His problem - the world's problems.

Temptations In Life

We are very fortunate to live in this age and have such a wide selection of choices in almost everything in life, compared to any previous generation. However, do we appreciate our fortune? Do we appreciate the choices and opportunities we have? Are we happy?

Apparently not! Otherwise we wouldn’t have more and more stress-related health problems, increasing divorce rate, and climbing youth suicidal rate. It seems the more capable we are in satisfying our physical needs, the more unhappiness it creates. How come?

This is because, we have created so many temptations in life! If you turn on your TV, every eight minutes there is a three-minute long commercial telling you what you don’t have. If you check your mail box, there are stacks of mail sitting there already claiming they can satisfy a need which you may have never thought of before. Everyday there are new gadgets, new products and new services which promise can improve your life. How can you ever have enough, and how can you ever be happy, if you are reminded day after day that you life is always lacking of something?

Temptation creates desire, and desire leads to unhappiness. If we don‘t control our desires, we become unhappy because we lose freedom to be ourselves and become slaves of desires. An example would be getting oneself into debt to buy a fancy gadget by willingly relinquish his freedom (to a certain degree) to his bank. Don't get me wrong. I am certainly not against owning any possessions so long as you have earned it in the first place. Neither am I saying that the world is evil in letting us have choices from abundant supplies. However, there should be a limit. There should be a degree of self-control. Like a smorgasbord dinner, you can’t have everything no matter how delicious they all taste, otherwise you'll only get stuffed and suffer from self-indulgence.

While it may be a fact of life that temptations are created everyday, there are many things you can do to control your desire and resist the temptations. You can ignore the junk mail, for example. You can spend less time watching TV so you are less exposed to its commercials. If you do watch TV, still you can put the mute button on when the commercials start… Without these self-control measures, they are going to control you! They can steal your time, thoughts, energy and money, all of which are previous assets of yours.

When you make a purchase, pay attention to your motivations. Are you buying a new car primarily to satisfy your self-ego, or are you buying it for safe transportation? Do you really need the latest model of cell phone because you want to be trendy so that you can show off? If you are in the sales industry, you will have learnt that two human emotions are usually provoked: greed and fear. For example, lottery ticket is motivated by greed, and insurance is motivated by fear. Any decisions motivated by greed or self-ego cannot create true happiness because they can only give your temporary gratification and it’s a matter of time before a new desire emerges and makes you feel lacking again until you satisfy that desire.

Be aware of the temptations in life! What you really really want now may serve little benefit in the long run. The most trendy and enduring possession you can ever have is a pure heart free of desire and full of love. This heart will never be out of fashion, and will never disappoint you.

A Blessing

I had booked an appointment for my annual eye exam at 8.30 AM today.

It’s my first appointment with an Optometrist in Auckland. I had no idea how to get there. My husband kindly volunteered to be my chauffeur.

We had no problem in finding where the Optometrist was. After we parked our car some 10 metres away from the Optometrist, we noticed that we arrived early – it was only 8:00 AM. We sat in the car, chatting.

Since we had plenty of time, my husband thought that it would be a good idea if we move our car a bit closer as he saw a car park right in front of the Optometrist.

He turned the keys. But the engine wouldn’t start. It looked like the car had a flat battery. The battery caused us some problems yesterday when we went out for a drive. As a result, my husband put the battery in charge over night. While we had no problem in starting the car this morning, it looked that the battery had had it.

We spent a couple of minutes trying to restart the car, but in vain. It looked like we had to ring our insurance company for help. My husband was a little worried that he might miss his 9.33 AM train. He had a few important things to sort out at work today.

We gave up trying, and sat in the car, having a moment of composure. My husband said to me: ‘It looks like there is a garage ahead, next door to the Optometrist... Actually, there is a sign outside...’ He read out the items on the sign which describe the services the garage offers. The list didn’t include battery. We were a little disappointed.

He got out of the car and went to the garage to check. When he came back, there was a garage worker with him. The man opened the bonnet and had a look at our battery. He said that he could replace it for us. Yay!

By the time I had my eye exam done; our car had a new battery and was ready to go! Awesome!

I couldn’t believe our luck today. How many times do you find a garage next door to an Optometrist?

Perhaps not that many!

We were blessed!

Is Buddhism Too Negative For You?

I remember clearly that when we were first introduced Buddhism in my textbook of world history, Buddhism was portrayed as a very negative religion. It said that according to Buddhism, life is suffering. I don’t remember any positive points mentioned about Buddhism, and the word ‘suffering’ has since been deeply planted in my innocent young heart. While I achieved high marks on history, only until recent years did I realise that my communist education about this religion was severely misconstrued. (of course, the only positive ‘religion’ we were ever taught, is Communism.)

In my previous job, I had five colleagues who are Thai. Luckily I get on extremely well with all of them. Perhaps I should be more accurate: they got on extremely well with everyone in the company (note there were 140 staff). I noticed that whenever the Thai girls were around, the whole atmosphere changed and people started to joke and laugh together. The Thai girls were like ambassadors and angels. It had been an tacit rule that in that department, they only recruit Thai girls and it’s done by word of mouth.

I visited Thailand two years ago. While I do not claim that I am a well travelled person, but I must admit that in all the places I’ve been (including the very civilised and wealthy nations), I have never, ever seen so many happy faces on the street, in the restaurants, and everywhere else. I’ve heard that 97% of population are Buddhists in Thailand. I thought about my textbook about Buddhism and pondered: if Buddhism is such a negative religion, how come people in this country all seem so genuinely happy? Why are they not suffering?

Last year, I started a meditation course. The teacher was a European monk. It was the first time I got to learn some ABCs about Buddhism from a Buddhist. A few months later, not only did I adopt a more positive life attitude, I became a happier person as I learnt how to attain peace in life.

From my limited encounters about Buddhists, I have come to the conclusion that: not only it’s not a negative religion; it is very enlightening!

Then, why, does it tell people that life is suffering? Why doesn’t it sing that life is happy, happy and happy?

I believe that all of us have experienced pain, losses and sadness since a very early age. Pain and suffering are universal phenomena. It is something we cannot avoid in this life time. By accepting that suffering is a natural fact of human existence, Buddhism teaches how we can discover the cure for it. Without acknowledging the existence of our problem, our problems certainly will not go away. Say if you go to see a doctor when you feel unwell, how can your doctor treat you without pointing out to you what exactly the problem is? Would you blame your doctor for being negative by telling you that you are ill?

Once we can accept that life is suffering, we can start to deal with it head on. Buddhism teaches that if there is suffering, then we must find the cause for suffering; if there is a cause for suffering, then there is a pathway for us to choose to eliminate our suffering and ultimately, to end our suffering. The pathway, as taught as the four noble truth, is where the richness, wealth of wisdom and knowledge lie. When our suffering ends, naturally we work ourselves towards freedom, peace and happiness. This path, when you take it as a whole, is far from pessimistic. In fact, they're a practical, problem-solving approach.

I now realise that, the way my textbook portrait Buddhism was as if suffering is the beginning, suffering is the end, and there is nothing we can do in between. When it is construed that way, of course Buddhism is a very negative religion.

I wonder if my history textbook has since been changed.