Having Fun

I’d almost forgotten how much fun there is in play. I mean spontaneous play without hassle, planning or restrictions.

Last night after work hubby and I both felt like some outdoor activities. It’s late Spring/early Summer here and the weather was absolutely gorgeous which almost made you feel guilty if you didn’t go out and enjoy the outdoors in the sun. We managed to find the badminton rackets and balls in the garage. They were given to us by someone years ago but we’d never used them! In a couple of minutes we were in a nearby park.

There were some young kids playing in the park, laughing and screaming. There was also a man throwing a tennis ball away for his dog to catch. There was plenty of space for us to play in any way we liked.

Apparently neither of us was good at playing badminton any more. Last time I played badminton was in my college years which must be at least fifteen years ago! For hubby it went back even further! Nevertheless we just whacked the rackets in the air often watching the ball going to the directions it was not intended to go. We ridiculed each other’s clumsiness and funny postures as we ran around trying to hit the ball but often in vain. Perhaps we were having too much fun; the dog came close to us a few times attempting to join us.

We felt like children again and thoroughly enjoyed each minute without any worries, rules or boundaries. We had plenty of time and space to ourselves and we didn’t have to worry about the outcome or anything. We only had a few games yet I realised that just by being with each other, laughing together while focusing on our play brought us tremendous fun.

Afterwards hubby said to me that he hadn’t heard me laugh so loud and so much for a long time!

Is it difficult to find fun and enjoy life? Apparently not! All we need to do, is to be ourselves, and find that innocent child in us. We are all capable of enjoying all the small things in life yet as adults we often forget how much fun there is in the small things. We always seem to want something big such as an overseas holiday or an expensive gadget and think these can bring us fun; we fail to realise that fun is right here with us and doesn’t have to cost a thing, as long as we let go of the unnecessary burdens we carry with us all the time and just stay in each moment.

Sticking To It Until The End

I’ve just completed my seven week evening classes of yoga. I kind of felt sad as I’ve just started enjoying it and it was all over! Although it’s only been seven weeks, it is interesting to note that out of the twelve attendees, none of us made a 100% attendance. Each week the numbers were dropping and as of last night which was the final class only two of us made it. When I turned up, the tutor was so relieved. She said: 'Ah you made it as well! I had thought we might not have a class tonight!' Imagine how disappointing and unrewarding for a tutor when no one turns up for class!

I think I did it well to have made it until the very end. The only one class I missed was the night before going to a job interview the next day because I needed the night to prepare for my interview which to me was fully justifiable.

The same happened to my evening course on Confident Speaking at the same school. We had twelve people to begin with but finished with only three of us. What a shame that the busy life we live these days makes the concept of commitment almost like a mission impossible for the majority of us! We are only talking about commitment for a relatively short period of time and on something that’s really beneficial to us!

Talking about myself, sticking to something until the end hasn’t always been easy either. In my younger years it was not unusual for me to be burnt with passion with a new hobby or project yet the enthusiasm was often short lived before I could see the fruit of it. I knew that I needed a change as I knew that I could do better. As I got older, more specifically into my thirties, I knew that if I want to accomplish anything in life, I needed to be responsible for myself and stick to it until the end. Quite amazingly when I take that responsibility seriously, commitment is no longer a difficult thing! It just comes by naturally. In the last three or four years I’ve conducted various projects and learning courses. Looking back I know that I have changed: I am more stable, committed, and mature. I have found more self confidence these days because I know that I am able to honour my own needs and inner desire in a positive way to become a better person.

In my New Year’s resolution at the beginning of this year, I wrote that ‘I owe myself a life to the fullest. I will always strive for realising my full potential, bringing out the best of myself, and use my goodness, knowledge and love to benefit myself, my family and the society.’ Looking back at the life I’ve given myself in the last eleven month, I think I’ve honoured my own words and I’ve earned self-respect.

As to yoga, I can see that it’s becoming part of my everyday life. Like meditation, pilates and running, they are becoming part of my daily routine which make me feel whole and in touch with myself. It makes me realise that the external world only drives me away from my own essence while being with myself gives me the most wonderful feeing. I am amazed!

I Need Some Love!

Some say love, it is a hunger an endless aching need...

Life can be quite hectic sometimes. I am sure you know what I mean. Although hubby and I live a reasonably care-free lifestyle which means we have plenty of time together; occasionally, we can be both wrapped up in our own little world doing our own thing. This is what I like about our marriage - apart from ‘our world’ we each have our ‘own world’ so that we get to keep our own space and individuality. However, occasionally imbalance can happen when one starts to feel ignored due to lack of attention. It can happen to me; it can happen to him. It’s funny how things seem to take cycles in life.

“I need some love!” Hubby came to me, and gave me a hug. He was in the middle of preparing dinner and I was putting the washing away.

I was slightly surprised for a second but soon realised that he’d been ignored as I’d been wrapped up with meditation, pilates and reading Bill Clinton’s My Life for the whole day. Although today is Saturday and we are both at home, we didn’t have breakfast or lunch together. It was not just me that had been busy; he had been sitting in front of his computer all day preparing for a seminar he is to deliver next week. I realised that the day was almost over and we had barely talked to each other!

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tightly, my head pressed against his chest. It was nice to feel the warmth, the bodily contact, and...Love. I realised that it was not just him that needed love; me too! Because we were not spending time together, I did not feel particularly intimate with him today even though it was not me that noticed it first.

We can all be needy at times. Our neediness for love is a constant hunger; an endless aching need. Yet I liked the way hubby communicated his neediness to me. It was so gentle, soft and sincere - a warm touch I have yet to learn to adopt. I am not a natural good communicator in terms of what I need, what I want and what I feel. Usually by the time when I feel the ‘hunger’ I’ve already lost most of my patience and gentleness as such it often comes out abruptly. On the matter of love, I realise that I’ve still got so much to learn and hubby, not only is he a perfect lover, he is such a good teacher!

At times when the flames are low, don’t forget: Love is just a few words away! Tell your lover that, you need some love! Just ask gently and lovingly, everything you ask will come to you!

Finding Sanctuary

According to John Gray's Men are from Mars, men retreat to their ‘cave’ when they are hurt and the more their partner asks them to come out, the longer they want to stay in there. The cave is where they can rest and lick their wounds unseen and where they regroup themselves to gather strength to be able to function again as men. The ‘cave’ is their sanctuary.

Is ‘cave’ the sole privilege to men? I don’t think so. We all need a sanctuary - a place where we can quieten our mind and feel protected and cared for. In our sanctuary, we do not need to defend ourselves and we can let go of the rules and boundaries. This is a place where we feel connected to a power greater than ourselves. I know for most women we have a need to communicate with someone to ‘talk things through’ to find a solution to a problem. While this is perfectly all right and indeed very comforting, we must not forget especially when ‘our listeners’ are not around or are unavailable that we can find comfort and safety from within - our sanctuary.

This sanctuary can be anything. It can be your childhood hide place; it can be a cave, a forest, a shrine, a talisman, or special stones where you naturally find positive energies and strong vibrations. My sanctuary is ocean. I always seem to find peace when I am near the ocean. In recent years just about every holiday I’ve had took place near the ocean and it didn’t occur to me to go anywhere inland! Also Time and time again during meditation I am taken to the beach and to the ocean and I let myself dive deep into the sea until I reach the seabed. Here the water is crystal clear, the colourful sea creatures are incredibly beautiful and all I can hear is this massive silence which makes me feel in perfect harmony with nature. Here peace makes its home inside me and I know that whatever happens, it’s all right!

What is your sanctuary?

Change The World

The current distressing state of the world is the consequence of past action of humanity. Technical and political solutions to the challenges we now face are not enough.

There needs to be radical change in the hearts and minds of people throughout the world - a realisation that the world will only change when we change the world the way we relate to ourselves, others and nature.

By changing our consciousness and reconnecting with our inner spirit, we will naturally and spontaneously want to make the world a cleaner, healthier, safer and more beautiful place in which human beings, and other creatures can live together in peace and harmony.

Here are 10 powerful ways in which you can contribute:

Live Simply
When we use our mental, emotional and physical resources wisely and carefully, based on our needs rather than desires, we are able to fulfil our responsibility as a trustee of the earth.

Be Unlimited
By connecting with our spiritual essence and going beyond the artificial divisions of gender, race, culture and religion, we feel part of the global family and act accordingly.

Open the Heart
Practising compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love for the self and others, enables us to heal this shattered world.

Clean mind
Putting a full stop to negative and wasteful thinking and using the power of the mind in a positive way is the foundation for world transformation.

Empower yourself
Realising that we are the creators of our own world, and that we always have a choice as to how we can deal with the challenges of life, brings a sense of freedom and responsibility, which gives us the faith and courage to make a difference.

Walk the talk
When we remain true to our inner values and follow our conscience, despite resistance from others, our actions bring benefit to many.

Respect for life
Recognising the uniqueness, wonder and beauty of our own being, enables us to treat ourselves, others, animals and nature with consideration and care.

Eat Well
Pure vegetarian food cooked with love, nourishes our whole being and contributes to the health of the planet.

Following your dream
The more powerful, positive and detailed our vision of the future, the more likely we are to achieve it.

Feed the soul
Spending time alone in silent prayer or meditation, gives us the inner strength and wisdom to deal with life in a more positive and peaceful way.

Contemplation v Thinking

Unlike the Buddhist meditation I was taught earlier which was to ultimately attain a state of stillness and emptiness, Raja Yoga meditation, by contrast, seems very 'noisy'. We always play background music or commentary. We are told thoughts are okay. For beginners we were even taught to direct our meditation based on four questions so that our thoughts would stay focused.

The four questions to ask are:

1. Who am I?
2. What is my form?
3. What are my original form?
4. Where do I come from?

On the surface, these two meditation methods seem to be contradictory to each other with one focusing on emptiness and requires absolute quietness and the other focusing on thoughts and allows sounds. But when you delve into it, you will find that they are quite similar and can achieve the same result.

In Raja Yoga, the questions to use together with the background music and commentary during meditation are aids to quieten the mind through contemplation. Contemplation is different from thinking as thinking normally engages resources from the external world while contemplation is about plunging into deeper realms where we can draw emotional information, the response from the body, and ultimately the promptings of our heart.

I find contemplation is quite useful during meditation as in contemplation I can drop a question into my awareness, allow it to sink out of view, and then simply wait. Sometimes an answer comes, sometimes not. Sometimes I simply receive a feeling: an intuition, an inner prompting. I think this may be similar to auto writing.

In contemplation, energy finds its own way to work on you and opens you up to insights and peace. This is where healing takes place.

It's Time To Have A Tattoo!

It’s time to have a tattoo done! And it’s gotta be done before Christmas!

I can see a few eye brows raising there. “Having a tattoo? Are you sure you are not mad, Passioncity?” I hear you ask.

Don’t worry! It’s not me who is having a tattoo done! It’s one of my colleagues. He came to me recently and asked for advice as to what tattoo would look cool as he wanted it in Chinese.

The world is certainly changing! I remember some ten or fifteen years ago it was very trendy to have English prints on my T-shirt in China (some of them are still sitting in my draw at home with misspelt English) while these days Chinese characters and Chinese culture seem to have an exotic flavour in the Western world which to me is rather amusing. Nevertheless helping my colleague work out a tattoo not only must look cool but also has the meaning he is happy with made me feel somewhat honoured.

After several weeks consultation and consideration, it has been decided to use the Chinese characters “Peace”(He Ping) and “Happiness”(Kuai Le). It will be on his right arm. Now it's been finalised I can’t wait to see his tattoo! Although it’s not my tattoo, I feel excited just the same as it will have my input and my colleague will be wearing it permanently!

Identity Crisis, Or Just Another Dream?

Waking up from a dream this morning, instead of springing out of bed and getting ready for my morning exercise, I just lay in bed, didn’t want to move. My mind couldn’t wake up from my dream. This world I woke up to suddenly felt very strange to me.

“This is not real!” I was muttering to the man lying next to me.

In my dream, I was in China. I was a friend of my ex-boyfriend, his wife and his family. I paid a visit to his place as I wanted to know how they got on with their baby. I found out that both he and his wife had gone to work but his mother was there. She told me that one of his childhood friend (also my childhood friend) offered to take the baby to daycare and pick her up every day as my ex and his wife led a very busy life. She said that she went to their place during the day to help tidying up the house. She also asked me how my parents were in a very kind way… Later in my dream I was with my parents in my hometown. I met some other childhood friends on the street as I greeted them with a casual ‘hi’ as they cycled past by.

What confused me was: Could this dream be a reality while this man lying next to me, this house in Greenlane and my job in Public Trust were a big illusion? I asked myself. I asked out loud so hubby could hear me. In my dream, I lived in a extended family environment where everyone knew everyone and everyone looked after everyone. There were no barriers and people were naturally connected. The life in my dream felt more real, natural and perfect. In fact, this very life in my dream could have easily been available to me, had I not married a Kiwi husband and moved to New Zealand with him. The life portrayed in my dream was the alternative life I could have had had I not met my Kiwi husband by accident.

“We can always go back and live in China.” Hubby said, understandingly. He gathered I must be home sick.

Was I home sick? I asked myself. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it was more than just being home sick. Maybe it was not home sick at all. Maybe it was just a sudden crisis of feeling the loss of self-identity as I woke up to find that I had no real sense of belonging here. Where’s my root? I asked myself. My root was certainly not in Auckland, neither was it in Wellington or Napier where I lived. I had no childhood friends here as I did not receive my primary or secondary education on this land. By the time I got to know everyone, I was already stamped as a "Chinese married to a Kiwi”. My entire life here, my identity and my self-worth... all seemed to revolve around my marriage hence the reason why I am living here.

With this thought I felt a sudden shivering in my mind. What if I have to live a life of my own one day? Would I still feel the same entrenchment to this land? I remembered what my Asian girlfriend had to say recently when her Kiwi husband told her that their marriage was over. She said to him that her only purpose of living in New Zealand was because of him. Would I say the same thing if I was put in the same situation?

Any Chinese immigrant would know what “banana” means. Banana – yellow outside and white inside, describes how it feels for a yellow-skinned person living in a white society. You speak their language, eat their food, mow the lawns at weekend, abide by their law and live a life like most white people do, yet deep down you know your root is not here and no matter how many years you have lived on this land you know you are never part of ‘them’ in a true sense. On the other hand, when these ‘bananas’ go back to their home land to live, they no longer find their sense of familiarity and belonging either – so much of them and so much within them have changed that, instead of finding 'home' on either side they find themselves permanently in a state of ‘in-between’, floating.

Where am I? Who am I? Where is my home? Where do I belong?

Self Respect

Recently from my women's group gathering, I received the following words of wisdom as we shared on the subject of 'women and self-respect'. These words are such a treasure I thought I'd just put them here:

Every human being has innate worth.

Part of self respect is knowing my own qualities.

Respect for the self is the seed that gives growth to confidence.

When we have respect for the self, it is easy to have respect for others.

To know ones nature worth and to honour the worth of others is the true way to earn respect.

Those who give respect will receive respect.

The more respect is measured on the basis of something external, the greater the desire for recognition from others. The greater the desire, the more one falls victim and loses respect for the self.

When there is power of humility in respecting the self, wisdom develops and we are fair and just to others.

Everyone in the world has the right to live with respect and dignity, including myself.

Addicted to Exercise

We’ve all heard it: Exercise is good for us. Exercise recharges our batteries and keeps our weight down, blah blah blah…..but do you know that exercise is also a double edged sword which can have damaging effect?

While most people would not argue that exercise is a very good thing for everyone, as long as we do it properly and in moderation. The problem is, people can become obsessive about exercise and can not stand NOT to exercise. Sadly, I am one of these exercise addicts.

Let me name a few of the symptoms of my exercise addiction:

Symptom 1: Exercise is No. 1 life priority and I am absolutely fixated about it. I keep to my schedule strictly and wouldn’t ‘exchange’ it for anything else such as fun time with hubby. If I did exchange, I would normally feel temperamental or grumpy afterwards.

Symptom 2: If I do not exercise for more than a couple of days, such as long distance flight or drive, unco-operative weather, recovering from illness, I become low, moody and depressed due to inactivity. My self-esteem suffers and my confidence wanes. I feel I am not in control of my life.

Symptom 3: When I don’t exercise, even though I know I haven’t put on weight, I feel fat and unattractive.

Symptom 4: If I haven’t exercised for a while, I tend to increase my ‘dosage’ by double or triple the intensity or duration to make sure I ‘make up the slack’ which is almost self-punishing all the while feeling good.

Although exercise has done me a lot of good over the years, it is perhaps exactly these benefits - a healthy and fit body, a robust outlook together with an unshakable confidence, that has made me addicted to it. Clinically speaking, addiction is a sign of lack of security although I am not sure if I should agree. I had thought that my strict exercise programme is a sign of good habit and discipline until today! During a casual conversation I had with hubby today I said to him that I didn’t understand why I felt so low and depressed. Guess what he came up with! He said that it was probably because I didn’t do my morning run! He was probably joking, but it is then the term ‘exercise addicts’ suddenly came to me. Often we need an outsider to see our problems because we ourselves can't see.

In the meantime (and indeed I need some good excuses), I can easily understand why it is easy to become addicted to exercises. Because the good feelings that exercise brings has a lot to do with the endorphins the body releases which has a natural uplifting effect. Some even call endorphins natural anti-depressant. Once you exercise on a regular basis and constantly feel high from doing it, it is hard not to become addicted! So I am not going to beat myself up and feel guilty about a good habit I have. I know my addiction is only in a minor form. I just need to keep in mind that, even in good habits moderation and flexibility are necesssary otherwise the balance can be lost just the same.

I also think about our healthy eating regime hubby and I have recently adopted. We’ve done a lot of adjustments during this period because of the change. However, there have been a few times that I was quite pedantic about things while hubby felt we were missing the fun and joy of life. He is absolutely right! If health, fun and joy are the ultimate goals, what's the point to be brutal about ourselves as long as we are not too off the track and maintain an overall balance?

The Benefits of Walking

If you are a Kiwi, you will know that the lifestyle in Auckland is regarded as the most stressful kind in the nation. Think about the population, crowded streets, heavy traffic…

So, after living in the most stressful city for over four months, how do I find it?

I actually find life less stressful compared to my days in Wellington. Amazingly, it actually doesn’t take much of a change to be less stressful. By simply getting rid of one activity - driving, many of daily stressors have gone!

During this period I have driven only three times. Instead, I walk everywhere. I walk to work. I walk to the local groceries. I walk to the parks. I walk to my evening classes. When we do go out say at weekends or on a vocation, or visit someone or some place, I have a personal chauffeur (hubby). *grin*. I do power walk in the mornings, and I have slow walks with hubby in the evenings. I walk to the office using stairs and at work I walk to the printer and mail tray hundreds of times. Although I don’t wear a pedometer, I am sure I would easily exceed the benchmark of 10,000 steps a day.

Now I start to reap some real benefits from walking, one of which I have noticed is that: I am generally not in a hurry! I don’t worry about rush hour which might cause delay in getting somewhere. I don’t have to listen to the morning news about traffic. Red traffic lights no longer cause me any anxiety, and I don’t get irritated with road rages, as I am not part of them!

See, how easy it is to eliminate stress just by changing one little thing! On the other hand, I find that walking is a perfect opportunity to meditate. As I walk, I can look around and observe how vast and pure nature is - the trees, the grass, the wandering cats on the streets, the forever changing clouds, the colour and texture in the sky, the birds and their singing, the gentle breeze in the air, the subtle scent from the flowers... can all beautifully merge into every step I walk and every breath I take, as long as I pay attention. In mindful walking, I find that life is all around me and I am such a healthy, beautiful and robust being, just like the trees, clouds, birds... I don’t need to, nor do I want to, think, imagine, or expect what I am going to become or what‘s going to happen tomorrow or next year. What’s the point to wander away from this moment, if this moment is perfect?

I know, my kind of walking meditation is perhaps not the ideal kind of walking meditation. It’s certainly not the one I learnt at my Buddhist’s teaching, which was very slow in motion, and attention is paid to each foot to great details such as lifting the foot, moving forward, and putting it down. Naturally, I would eventually love to practice that more often.

What Do You Share With Others?

Let me ask you a question first: do you share garbage with your neighbours?

It may seem a silly question. But I want you to think. If your answer to the question is no, then I want to ask you again: do you share mental garbage with your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours?

I won't try to answer that for you. It’s not easy. But I can tell you that my answer is different from the first question. I know that on this spiritual journey, I too, often do not preach what I believe as common sense.

Last night during my medication, I came to the realisation that I still have a lot of negative thoughts even though broadly speaking I consider myself a very positive person. I don't want to acknowledge my negativity only because I don’t want to be labelled as being negative. Yet so many things I think, say or do are very negative. For example, I complain often since I moved to Auckland that in Auckland there is no 'people touch'. This is of course not entirely true as I do meet a lot of pleasant and nice people. Instead of focusing on the positive side, I focus on the negative side as in my current work place I have less intimate friendship from colleagues than in my previous workplace in Wellington. Another example is that when I chat with my colleagues about current news or work place attitude I still naturally participate and agree with them on a lot of negative things probably as a natural instinct to want to fit in.

What I want to say is, everyday there are too much garbage. We receive it, we collect it, and we share it with others. We even imagine a lot of garbage because we have preconceived ideas about how the situation is and how it should be because of our past experiences. Then we just fix our idea on that and demand that things happen in the way it was or the way we think it should be (like the case in my negative thought about my current work place). Then we make our lives miserable – not only that, when we share that with others, we make others lives miserable too. Just like it's not pleasant to share our garbage with our neighbours, why do we think sharing our mental garbage with others would have positive effect on anyone?

I think about why everyone loves to go to our meditation centre to meditate. We all feel great love and peace here – a feeling we don’t normally feel at home. Why? Because here we share only love, blessings, togetherness, world peace – all the positive things. The venue over the years has collected substantial amount of positive energy as such even a stranger walks in would feel it. Why don't we feel the same at home? Because we talk rubbish, we think rubbish, and we share a lot of rubbish. Most homes have had quarrels, fights, chaos, discord of some kinds and have built up a lot of negative vibrations. That's why we do not achieve the same result in meditation at home.

A spiritual journey is all about self-cleansing. When we sift out the negatives, bit by bit we will become more purified soul. Share only the beautiful things with others so that other souls can be purified too. In purification, we can achieve enlightenment and peace; gain power and wisdom; and have good health and balance in life.

Raja Yoga

Do you meditate with eyes closed or open?

This may sound a strange question to ask, as most people probably think that a true meditation must be done with eyes closed. It makes sense as when our eyes are closed, our connection to the external world through vision is shut down, so that we can focus on the mind.

At least that was what I understood and practised until I started Raja Yoga a few months ago.

In Raja Yoga meditation, we meditate with eyes open. I must admit that at the beginning it felt very strange. I found it particularly hard to enter a so-called ‘meditative state‘. The main barrier was distraction by the objects in the room, such as the paintings on the wall, the sofa in front of me, the person next to me …. This difficulty didn’t just happen to me. A few other fellow new comers felt the same. It was hardly surprising given that all the meditations we had practised before were with eyes closed.

Things always get better with a little practice and as time goes by I start to get used to this meditation method. Also since the objects in the room are no longer new items to me, they hardly trigger any thoughts now. Although I haven’t advanced much since I first started Raja Yoga, at least I can now sit in the room with eyes open while not be distracted by what I see. It’s like: none of the objects in the room exists. This to me is a big improvement already!

So, what’s the ration behind open eye meditation? You may ask.

As most of us have experienced with the closed eye meditation, one of the common problems is that we constantly have to resist from drifting into sleep especially if the meditation lasts more than half an hour. When the eyes are closed, our connection to the external world switches off, but at the same time we lose our concentration and alertness. Another problem is that when the eyes are closed, we often experience that the latent thoughts rush forth with great vigour. As the case with me, I often found myself drift into a semi-dreamy state where my thoughts were all over the place while I had no control of it as my mind was not fully awake. Meditate with eyes open, we can remain that concentration and alertness.

Another advantage of open-eye meditation is that, once you have mastered it, you can meditate during any time of the day and in any place! In other words, you don’t have to shut yourselves from the rest of the physical world to do a meditation (it‘s not like we can always find a quiet place to meditate at the drop of a hat at any time!). You can meditate at work, during a boring meeting, walking on the street, washing dishes … Isn’t it wonderful, if we can eliminate any thought that comes to us at any time and take control of that thought, remain as we are, and feel light, centred and full?

I like that idea. That’s why I am enjoying Raja Yoga meditation so much at the moment!

Shaky Soul

I think it’s actually good for our soul if every now and then we experience sorrow, let-downs and disappointments in life. It is at these times we realise we are human. It is at these times we realise that a little compassion goes a long way. It is at these times that we know we can be in control of ourselves under all situations.

When someone treats you in an unkind way, such as being insensitive, aggressive, rude, critical, unreasonable, or unfair, how would you respond?

Depending on the scale of things, most of us would probably be slightly upset; some of us would probably be very angry. Why? Why even that we know these kinds of emotions are not good for us, yet we are so easily caught into these wasteful emotions?

I, too, often get caught into dramas like this. At such times, I like to remind myself of Avyakt BapDada’s wisdom. He said:

If someone gives you sorrow, don’t take it. They may give, but you mustn’t take it. Even if an angry person comes, you just give blessings to him and receive blessings from him because blessings are an easy tool for intense effort.

Magically, every time I tried this method, it seemed to have worked!. Every time when I refused to take sorrow and sent out only my blessings to those who didn’t make me feel comfortable, things always seemed to turn around (sometimes very quickly and sometimes much later) and the tension would ease.

BapDada also said:

Anything that is full doesn’t have any fluctuation. When it is not full, it fluctuates and shakes. Anything that is not completely full will shake.

When our soul is shaky, perhaps it’s time to check how full it is and how much treasure we are yet to put in.

Dieting Smart

If you have followed my recent posts, you will know that I’ve embarked on a new diet. Basically it’s vegetarian, gluten-free and dairy-free.

This means that I have almost eliminated all meat, dairy products and gluten food and in the meantime I have increased consumption on soy products, fresh fruit and vegetables, nuts and seeds. I also drink lots of mineral water and freshly squeezed juice. It’s been several weeks now and I have actually reaped some benefits already, believe it or not.

A major benefit from this new diet is that I seem to keep my energy level steady throughout the day whereas before I had ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ throughout the day. For example, I used to feel slack and not very alert in mid-afternoon and evenings but now I feel the same alert and energetic during these hours. Accompanied to this benefit is that I seem to have a clearer head now. In other words, my mind seems less ‘cluttered’ and ‘foggy’. It's a nice feeling.

For a person who had never been on a diet before, this is pretty exciting as I get to notice the positive changes. But ...(there is always a ‘but’ even for positive things!)

Yesterday morning I went out for a Power Walk. During the weekdays my Power Walk is usually no more than one hour. Since it was Saturday and I had all the time to myself, I decided to walk a bit further. I walked to the Cornwall Park, and walked all the way up the peak on One Tree Hill. By the time I got home it was almost 9am - I had spent two hours in speed walking! After having some breakfast I felt tired and exhausted and thought I would lie down for a couple of minutes. However, by the time I woke up, it was almost mid-day! I passed out in bed!

This was not my usual self as I almost never got tired like this after my exercises before. As a matter of fact, just a couple of weeks ago I did a walk with similar intensity.

I thought about my recent change of diet and started to wonder if I have done it properly. After all I am on trial and I can only learn by experimenting. I know that in a perfect world, I would like to have a personal trainer and personal dietician to help me to do things correctly. Ah well, back to my reality…

I did some research yesterday on food. I think the problem in my exhaustion lies in the mismatch between my diet and my physical needs, which is probably a common problem for people who go on diet. It’s worth noting that we are all very different. What’s good for one person might not be good for another, depending on age, gender, physical activities etc. I think my current diet may be quite all right say for a monk who does 6 hours of meditation a day; however, it doesn’t seem to provide all that I need considering the amount of physical exercises I do on a daily basis.

I have come to the conclusion that below may be areas where the problems lie:

1. Calcium. Calcium is mostly found in dairy foods. Since my diet has always been low on dairy-food in my entire life, my body may suffer from calcium deficiency. This may also have contributed to my lower-back pain which I’ve had for years although it’s improving.

2. Iron, Zinc and vitamin B12. Since I don’t eat meat, and iron, Zinc and vitamin B12 are mostly found in meat, I am almost certain that I have a deficiency in all these because I have all the deficiency signs which include fatigue, exhaustion and anaemia, especially after intense exercises.

3. Protein. A vegetarian diet and a gluten-free diet side by side is most challenging as protein comes mainly from animal-derived foods. For vegetarians, a main source of protein is from grain products such as wheat, oats, barley etc which all have gluten content. When you eliminate meat and grain foods, there isn’t many food left that provides sufficient protein!

So dieting smart is not as easy as I had thought. It actually involves a scientific approach, a balanced act, good planning as well as good knowledge about oneself. I know that I need to keep learning about food and making adjustments from time to time. Despite a lot of people have doubts as to if a vegetarian diet can provide sufficient nutrition that we need, I believe it’s doable as I know that a lot of Olympic Gold Medallists are vegetarians which proves that it can be a good diet just the same. It’s a matter of doing it in the right way.

I am sure it's a matter of time before I figure out how all the bits and pieces fit in the jigsaw of healthy living. In the mean time, if you have any good suggestions to offer, please feel free to leave your precious comments.

Whatever Happens, It Happens Perfectly

When I had this dream a few days ago, I sensed that the job I was going to apply was going to be tricky.

It was an internal position which was recently created in my company. During the past five months I was led to believe that I was the most suitable candidate for this role. Not only I expressed my strong interest, I also had a solid technical background this position requires. As a matter of fact, just days before this position was internally advertised, the Manager had discussed with me about this job at length. It appeared to me that he wanted to secure my interest first and the exercise of internal advertising was nothing but a formality.

On the night when I prepared my application and CV, I didn’t feel quite right. Then I had a dream that I was a female sumo who was facing a World-class male opposition. In my dream I tried to avoid my opposition for twenty years because I was afraid of him and finally I excelled and developed self-confidence to confront him. The message from my dream was actually quite clear: I am not ready yet for this job; my time is yet to come!

My intuition was right! It was hard to believe that at a time when the country is facing a ‘brain drain’ and just about every position in the company takes months to fill, five applications were received within two days. Also it was a non-event that all the applicants are suitable or over-qualified for this position!

I had my job interview yesterday. It felt very strange as I had to go through a very formal process with two Managers who I deal with on a daily basis. They told me that they had to adopt a formal process to all the five candidates to avoid favouritism and to ensure fairness, as everyone knows everyone.

I haven’t heard anything from them today. However, I have no doubt that the position has been filled. They have every reason to disregard me, as it’s a sales role, and I have never been in sales! While they might have all the confidence in me before, they would have to be mad to give the job to me while there are other candidates who are already salespeople!

I am a little disappointed with how things have turned out, given so much excitement, anticipation and expectation have been built up over the last few months. This dream job was that close and I could almost smell it! However, I know that I can’t control the circumstances in life and I certainly can’t control the outcome. I believe, however, that: Whatever happens, it happens perfectly! Regardless of my temporary emotions. I have no doubt that better things are ahead waiting for me. I just need to be patient!